How did God create the World in 6 days?

Because he didn't have to recreate 50 slide PowerPoint files 5 times and present it to fucking Marketing managers.

Why isn't my site #1 in Google?

Because there's 300 million pages with exactly the same keywords than your site. Deal with it.

Content provided by client.

A client just provide me a map to put on their site. Now I'm used to maps drawn in Paint, but I have to say, a map drawn in Excel is a first in my nearly 9 year career.

False Advertising

So, I'm standing in the bank waiting to pick up my new credit card, and out of the corner of my eye I see the tv with banks' adverts. I wouldn't go so far as to call the models used in the advert sexy, rather normal - but then I compare them to the woman in front of me. Aparantly it's not a good Monday for her, she seems to have left her teeth at home, and she has a look like her dog has died. Or slept with her husband. I'm not sure.

Don't you just hate it....

when redesigning a site that was last updated in 1998, you come up with a elegant solution that's a hundred times better than the shit they had - only to have the client fuck the design up. Over and over again.