Website updates and timetravel

So, a client phones me and shits on me for not putting on a link to their online entry forms. He claims it was sent 3 weeks ago, and not implemented.

Reading through the sequence of their emails it's strange that the link was only ready yesterday, at which point they sent it to me, where it was implemented.

So, how the fuck should I have exactly created a link to somewhere 3 weeks ago that didn't exist?

Asshole.

Dear Client,

Your comment that your business cards has a story behind it, does not hold water if the cards was designed in Paint, with your Company name in purple Times New Roman being the only thing on the card.

HTML Newsletters

A client of mine asks me to design a html newsletter for him, based on a pdf. The security on the pdf prevents me from copying out the text, but the images I can grab without a problem. I convey that fact to his Sales Manager. Twice.

So .....after emailing me 12 mB's of images, none of which were actually used in the pdf.... I still don't have the text.

Another day.... another step closer to alcoholism

Deadlines

Don't you just love it when a client phones you half an hour after a deadline for a magazine advert, to tell you you have to design one.

Logic

So a client complains that their site is too yellow. Their solution?

They send me a screenshot, that was edited in Paint (but of course), that takes out the background that wasn't yellow, and replace it with a piss yellow colored background.

Why didn't I think of that?

Client

If you put a infinite number of clients in front of a infinite number of typewriters will they eventually produce the content I need?